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09/15/18 - Soukdary / Ree Kaenthongrath
Always remember that a boy recently lost his mother at age 6 of which her and I were your best friends as you
stepped up to be his godmother the very night he was born. He loved you for all 6 of those years of knowing you
(still asks about you and your dog), yet you couldn't even come to his needs when he needed you the most. I am
very aware the nurses tried to reach out to you being the one emergency contact other than I. Nothing that happened
between us was his fault and you know it. This post isn't to mend anything, I've spent the last year in pain trying
to do just that, to make you understand me, just to never get a response which just hurts even more. No, its to show
that you cannot be trusted and are unreliable to any potential friends you may be currently taking advantage of, and
that you are capable of simply tossing them away like a bag of refuse the very moment they are no longer useful to your
life at that point in time, labelling them as toxic just because they suffer anxiety & panic attacks or anything else you
might believe isn't good for *yourself* rather than stick with them to try and help understand them better and ride it out.
I'm not lying when I read it right out of your journals, which I only read them as they were thrown everywhere by you
during your last move, because I was having serious anxiety as it felt like you were trying to distance us out of your life
for a good while prior to you suddenly calling us telling you needed our help to move you (yet again) to a new place further
north, which we did without question, while I drove the moving van the entire time flawlessly because you couldn't do it
despite having a full license driving for at least a decade while I was only a learner driver on my 2nd year....hmmm...
It was all laid out there on paper that you simply used us with a lot of other degrading, hateful shit about everyone else
in your life and work life that made me question your ability to even practice. You even had to point out that my late wife
was lazy that she was over 300 pounds and didn't want to work just to mooch off the government. I've tried everything to not
believe any of it because I cared about you a lot and thought you just had some issues that many of us suffer, and that you
merely treated them as random worst case scenario runaway thoughts as someone who suffers from anxiety knows all too well
about, that you just simply wrote those thoughts down on paper to reflect what your mind races, but you made that pretty
clear that this wasn't the case. Also an FYI I'm considered aboriginal, not white. (referring to your "they're white" comment about us)
Glad that Mandy helped keep your career after you were bullied at work, just before you moved north after almost being
fired at Sinai, she was sure useful to you then wasn't she? Sadly you couldn't even give her the credit for that afterwards
and were in denial about it as if you did everything yourself and nobody helped you at all. Hiding your vulnerabilities much?
Do you know what we call this? A Narcissist. Is that what your RN badge represents? If you can dump your godson
and your best friends after 7 years then simply disappear like an asian catfish when you believe they are toxic for
yourself or no longer useful to you then everyone should be warned. It's the only explanation that you didn't even care
one bit about Mandy's passing or wanting anything to do with our son since. Sorry but I've tried. I feel anxiety from
just typing this as it hurts. Many people know me, I'm hardly toxic, just an ASD with anxiety that I previously never
truly grasped for the first 36 years of my life. Ahh the NecessaryEvil/OpenNap days... it's okay Ree, I forgive you,
thats all I can do, move on, make progress, but never forget. Welcome to the Internet.
Love you Sheryl, you are like my book on anxiety, you taught me more in the last 9 months than I knew in my entire lifetime. -Brendan
03/10/17 - It's Alive?
Well its back, but there ain't much here. I'll probably post other stuff regarding my tinkering
with electronics and stuff when I get around to it. -Bren
|Last Modified: September 20 2018 00:53|