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10/18/18 - Feelings
I've reposted everything I previously did in its original form, fuck it, some people certainly do not deserve me being suddenly rational and going more simplified on subjects that have hurt me with signicantly less detail. I know Mandy will have plenty to say when these people finally get to see her again. On a bright note Susan has changed her tune slightly, I'm no longer the cheater but now I'm the one that "replaced" Mandy too quickly... sorry. There is no replacing Mandy, whatsoever, in any way shape or form, she was unique, her own self, and I miss her dearly so very fucking much. She is irreplacable. Susan perhaps you should just stick to the old story as nobody believed it and told me I should have laughed at you instead anyhow especially the fact that Janet had to actually fabricate it for you. I was angry about it, I now don't care anymore. You're grieving too, boohoo, it hurts, I get it.
10/03/18 - Susan
Susan, it is very dangerous to presume things, you see, you have to deal with that doubt knowing what you believe could also possibly be false, but it doesn't matter what I tell you because you will just believe whatever it is you want to believe however what I can say is for your sake I hope you make the right choice because there will be a point that you will wonder if it was worth throwing away your relationship with Ben over something that was completely fabricated. By all means believe what you want but remember I live guilt free knowing the real truth and that my precious Mandy loved me till the very end, but maybe you'd have figured that out sooner had you actually visted your sister just once in the entire 11 years she has been living here in Canada and not just when it was time to say goodbye. You live with all the guilt and regrets, not me. You lived the last several years jealous that Mandy escaped the UK and had no obligations to care for her father because she lived overseas, that was obvious.
09/29/18 - Master Manipulator
Sorry Ree that I still remember all of your dirty secrets, maybe its because of how much they still hurt me and have affected me more considerably since Mandy's passing since you refused to even acknowedge her. Perhaps I should start posting all the family pictures over the last several years, just so everyone knows that you took us for a ride while pretending to be close to us while trash talking us behind our backs. Also your way of constantly hitting on me was ridiculous and Mandy noticed it. And why do you act like you hate your sister and her husband so much? You were not having a life with your little neice and nephew all because of how jealous you were of them, talking shit about your sisters hubby just because he drives a forklift... you were ridiculously jealous of them. It certainly made me wonder what shit you spouted about us to others thats for sure (beyond what we read already)... you couldn't even be honest to Mandy about how jealous and vindictive you were towards us and instead kept pretending to care just to take advantage of us. I should have known better too when all you ever did was complain about your patients families and bitch about them being overly concerned. At least now I know how you are able to work ER and ICU for all these years without ever burning out, you simply don't have a heart, not a care on this earth. PTSD will probably never affect you either until you retire right?
If anyone feels they too have been manipulated and hurt (and I know there are others), they too should speak up.
09/15/18 - Soukdary / Ree Kaenthongrath
Always remember that a boy recently lost his mother at age 6 of which her and I were your best friends as you stepped up to be his godmother the very night he was born. He loved you for all 6 of those years of knowing you (still asks about you and your dog), yet you couldn't even come to his needs when he needed you the most. I am very aware the nurses tried to reach out to you being the one emergency contact other than I. Nothing that happened between us was his fault and you know it. This post isn't to mend anything, I've spent the last year in pain trying to do just that, to make you understand me, just to never get a response which just hurts even more. No, its to show that you cannot be trusted and are unreliable to any potential friends you may be currently taking advantage of, and that you are capable of simply tossing them away like a bag of refuse the very moment they are no longer useful to your life at that point in time, labelling them as toxic just because they suffer anxiety & panic attacks or anything else you might believe isn't good for *yourself* rather than stick with them to try and help understand them better and ride it out.
I'm not lying when I read it right out of your journals, which I only read them as they were thrown everywhere by you during your last move, because I was having serious anxiety as it felt like you were trying to distance us out of your life for a good while prior to you suddenly calling us telling you needed our help to move you (yet again) to a new place further north, which we did without question, while I drove the moving van the entire time flawlessly because you couldn't do it despite having a full license driving for at least a decade while I was only a learner driver on my 2nd year....hmmm... It was all laid out there on paper that you simply used us with a lot of other degrading, hateful shit about everyone else in your life and work life that made me question your ability to even practice. You even had to point out that my late wife was lazy that she was over 300 pounds and didn't want to work just to mooch off the government. I've tried everything to not believe any of it because I cared about you a lot and thought you just had some issues that many of us suffer, and that you merely treated them as random worst case scenario runaway thoughts as someone who suffers from anxiety knows all too well about, that you just simply wrote those thoughts down on paper to reflect what your mind races, but you made that pretty clear that this wasn't the case. Also an FYI I'm considered aboriginal, not white. (referring to your "they're white" comment about us) Glad that Mandy helped keep your career after you were bullied at work, just before you moved north after almost being fired at Sinai, she was sure useful to you then wasn't she? Sadly you couldn't even give her the credit for that afterwards and were in denial about it as if you did everything yourself and nobody helped you at all. Hiding your vulnerabilities much?
Do you know what we call this? A Narcissist. Is that what your RN badge represents? If you can dump your godson and your best friends after 7 years then simply disappear like an asian catfish when you believe they are toxic for yourself or no longer useful to you then everyone should be warned. It's the only explanation that you didn't even care one bit about Mandy's passing or wanting anything to do with our son since. Sorry but I've tried. I feel anxiety from just typing this as it hurts. Many people know me, I'm hardly toxic, just an ASD with anxiety that I previously never truly grasped for the first 36 years of my life. Ahh the NecessaryEvil/OpenNap days... it's okay Ree, I forgive you, thats all I can do, move on, make progress, but never forget. Welcome to the Internet.
Love you Sheryl, you are like my book on anxiety, you taught me more in the last 9 months than I knew in my entire lifetime. -Brendan
03/10/17 - It's Alive?
Well its back, but there ain't much here. I'll probably post other stuff regarding my tinkering
with electronics and stuff when I get around to it. -Bren
|Last Modified: October 19 2018 04:26|